Tuesday 8 May 2012

Who says six inches can't bring a tear to the eye?!


Such a great feeling!!

I have just reached a milestone. I have been on a diet since September and have just hit the five stone mark. On average I have lost close to 2lbs a week since I started. Whilst I cannot boast to being half the man I used to be, I am three-quarters of that person! Even me, an expert in understatement, has to admit that yes, this is a huge deal. I am so now full of vigour that surely my inner Monsieur Creosote has been replaced by Louis Spence. Now there's an image to conjure with!

You may have gathered from my previous posts that food is the backbone of my life. I adore the stuff. I have been around food since I was old enough to hold a wooden spoon. My exam results were never going to lead me to a life of academia or high flying corporations, however my nose has taken me on a journey that hasn't slowed down yet! There was a sort of inevitability that at some stage I would need to lose a few pounds, however I always agreed that a skinny cook is not to be trusted, but you at least want the guy to be able to move around the kitchen with slightly more grace than a slug. There is an English proverb, don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. It was time for me to stop digging!

Having finally decided to slim down, a slight understatement somewhat akin to Faberge saying he was merely going to decorate an Easter egg, I realised that I would need help. The chances of me losing weight on my own were slim at best. Excuse the pun! I had no real idea what was out there and I had no intention of spending weeks researching which diets would be best for my hair condition, which would make me in to a sex god overnight or which would be nothing more than last month's fad after a few weeks. All I knew is that I wanted to be able to eat solid foods and stay away from colonic irrigations! Not much to ask. I ended up going to Weightwatchers for no other reason than it works, Tors had success with it in the past. We joined this time together and she has helped me massively. Between us we have lost well over the combined weight of both our children!

My hope was that I could lose enough to fit into some of the clothes I have had lingering in the attic for years in the vague hope that one day I would fit them again before handing them down to my son. I know, I know, father's hand me downs are not very trendy, but I live in hope that Freddie will favour pink cords over baggy jeans with his arse hanging out! In January I did a small amount of shopping and bought three pairs of trousers, not your every day sort, the more dressy, only come out of the cupboard a few times a year type of trousers. Well, I took them out last week. They are too big! Not by much, granted, but certainly larger than when I bought them. Bloody hell!

Another shopping trip was needed. I have had to add three more holes to my belt during the last seven months and my every day stuff is looking baggy in all the wrong places! I had the forethought to try on last year's shorts and shirts before shopping. I very much subscribe to the school of "Buy now, check later if I really need it" and I realised that this gung ho attitude would be a mistake this time. I used to be a 44", but would, with the help of a shoe horn and a tub of Vaseline, be able to squeeze myself into 42". The walk was less graceful and I spoke as though someone had a firm grip down below, but by heck, I was in 42" trousers! After the slightly depressing realisation that none of my shorts and shirts, collected over the last decade and a half, fit me, I cheered myself up by estimating that I would be able to go to 38", something that I have not done for a very, very long time.

I got the 38"s off the shelf and went to try them on. I did them up and discovered I could take them off without un-doing the button. My lardy posterior has all but disappeared, I have trim thighs, snaky hips and can fit into 36" trousers. OMG cubed! I am a teenager again! My school uniform was this size, well maybe not quite, but let me run with this. I came away with three pairs of trousers, two shorts, three polo shirts and two shirts. I might not look as though I have just stepped out of the pages of the latest Ralph Lauren catalogue, but no longer am I modelling tents for a marquee company either! Imagine One Direction's Harry in 10 years time! Oh yes, my imagination has no limit! Ladies, you can stop laughing/swooning/imagining* now! (*delete as applicable)

I am still feeling quite dazed. The American civil rights activist and educator, Benjamin Mays, once said "The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach." I have not yet reached my final goal weight of 13 stone. I do always have a much more manageable goal to strive towards. Baby steps is the name of the game and it changes every month as I keep on target. The current goal I have set myself is a strange one. I have been fortunate to get tickets to the Games in the summer and I recently read that Oga Korbut weighed 85lbs when she won gold in 1972. I thought to myself wouldn't it be fun to go having lost the equivalent of a gold medal gymnast? So I now have ten weeks to lose another stone and with that I will win my own gold, gold membership of Weight Watchers! 

I haven't yet decided what I will do with my old clothes. I have kept a great amount from my youth, always saying one day I will fit it all again. That day has come and I can honestly say that no one is more surprised than me. I am very happy to bring out my old clothes, bang off the dust and the cobwebs and start wearing some nice threads once again. I hesitate to say I will hang on to the 42" and 44"s in case I fit them again in the future. If I do ever fit them again, you have permission to take me outside for a damn good thrashing. I will hang onto the nicer stuff, if only to pull it out in times of crisis to remind myself just what 20 years of "one more pie won't make any difference" did to me!

You see, I told you, I have a very emotive six inches!

To celebrate this huge event, well huge minus 25%, I made my version of Clafoutis for pudding on Sunday. This is a very quick and easy thing to prepare and I haven't met anyone yet how doesn't like it. Who could possibly refuse Yorkshire pudding with fresh fruit cooked in it? You will note from the method that this is not a rocket science type of recipe, just chuck it all together and get on with the day.

The recipe I did was enough for four and filled an 8 x 6 inch dish.

125g plain flour
50g caster sugar
1 egg
200ml milk, full cream milk will add to the final richness
Fresh fruit - raspberries work so well, however the most traditional is cherries.
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1.     Heat the oven to 200° or 180° if it has a fan.
2.     Put the oil in your chosen dish and put in the oven for at least ten minutes to get hot.
3.     Chuck everything else except the fruit in a bowl and beat together until smooth. An electric whisk is the best way.
4.     Take the dish out of the oven, pour in the batter and throw the fruit on the top, bung back in the oven for twenty minutes or so. Just keep checking it until the batter has risen and fairly firm......just like your yorkies with the roast beef!
5.     Spoon the clafoutis in to bowls and serve with ice cream or cream, clotted would be the best.

I hope you all have a great week. I am about to go on holiday to Italy, so my next post might be all about fitting my old clothes again!! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Thursday 3 May 2012

Role Reversal

Last Saturday saw a major role reversal at home! Once Freddie and I returned from doing the weekly shop, Tors and Fenella disappeared to school to help with some much needed gardening. Whilst they were doing very passable Percy Thrower impressions, Freddie and I cooked and baked (replacements for the Two Fat Ladies in the making!) This may seem odd to many of you, however I have always loved cooking and Tors enjoys the garden. Anyway, we're happy in our own, reversed way!

You may think me strange, and you would be right in many ways, however I shall to explain my aversion to all green fingered activity. When I was eight, we moved to the most fantastic house with a huge garden. The previous owners had left the garden alone for 20 years As a result the trees were huge and half fallen over, the bushes had become overgrown and were deliciously menacing for budding explorers. The potential for games and mischief and frolicy fun was immense. However, the reality was vastly different. My memory has it thus: the first weekend in the house I was fitted out with waterproof jacket and trousers, the second saw me being bought my own mattock, the third I was given lawn mower driving lessons. It went on like this for ten years, unwrapping larger waterproofs at Christmas as I grew like the weeds I was decimating every weekend! I am sure the reality was vastly different, however I have been scarred for life and as a result have a phobia of gardening. I cower behind the sofa during the Chelsea Flower Show!! Having said this Freddie and I very successfully grew half a dozen six foot sunflowers last year, nurturing them from seed to eventual harvesting of seeds for this year. I like to think that it was all our own work, however have a feeling Tors may have given them a helping hand whilst Freddie and I were fast asleep.

As a result, I have made sure that both Fenella and Freddie are happy in the kitchen whilst Tors spends many a day, happily planting, weeding, digging and potting with them in the garden. The rudiments of both are being drip fed and, hopefully, they will turn into useful people. I am currently teaching them to change a duvet cover!!

Freddie has a fetching array of aprons and donned his Kath Kidson cowboy one for our kitchen marathon. He takes his cooking very seriously, he has even learnt about mis-en-place and loves getting everything ready. Breaking eggs is his forte and after many accidents and spillages he has mastered the art of elegant egg cracking! Keeping his new skill at the front of my mind, I decided to bake. Baking is something I am hopeless at, however since I was planning cupcakes and not a croquembouche, I felt reasonably confident. Anyway, I could always blame the help if it all went wrong!!

I picked up a recipe card for Lemon and Almond Cake a few months ago in Tesco. It sounded too good not to have it in the recipe file. We decided to try making cupcakes from the recipe. Somewhat surprisingly it actually worked. We halved the quantities and got 12 little bundles of joy! I will give you the full recipe, so enough for a cake or 24 cupcakes.


The Cake
225g unsalted butter, softened plus extra for greasing
225g caster sugar
4 medium eggs, beaten
½ teaspoon almond essence
1½ lemons, finely zested
75g plain four
150g ground almonds
1½ teaspoons baking powder

The Icing
200g marscapone, light or heavy on the fat content, your choice!
100ml whipping cream
2 tablespoons icing sugar
4 tablespoons of lemon curd
15g toasted flaked almonds

1. Heat the oven to 190°, 170° if you have a fan oven. If you are making the cake, line two 20cm cake tins and line the bottom with baking parchment.

2. In a large bowl, beat the butter and sugar until smooth. Slowly add the egg, beating until it is all light and fluffy, like the underbelly of a baby yak! A useful tip, if it looks like it is about to split, add 1 teaspoon of flour.

3. Mix in the essence and zest. Sift the flour and baking powder and add the almonds. Give it all a great big mix. Divide the mix between your cupcake molds or tins. Pop in the oven for 20 - 25 minutes. Leave them to cool on a wire rack. If using the tins, leave them inside for 15 minutes before turning out.

4. To make the cream beat the marscapone, cream and sugar until smooth.

5. If you are making the cake spread half the lemon curd on the bottom cake, half the icing on the curd, put the second sponge on top, cover with the rest of the icing. Add a splash of water to the rest of the curd to loosen it and drizzle in an artistic way over the cake. Finish off with the almonds on top.

6. If you are making cupcakes, stir the lemon curd in to the marscapone mix and spread over all the cupcakes. Sprinkle with almonds and scoff.

We put a raspberry on each on. They work so well together.

Apparently double cream and a fragrant cup of Earl Grey would be the perfect complimentary partners for this. Personally, sod the tea and have another slice!! I have always agreed with Marie Antoinette and her "let them eat cake" sentiments!


I feel that a drop of vanilla would have really complimented the zestiness of the lemon!
An old friend whom I have recently got back in touch with after far too long has just started a foodie blog. I love other people's take on food. I can sometimes can get too carried away with flowery sentiments over politically incorrect foods and Lucy has a way with words that keeps it simple and highly entertaining. The only downside, due to her having been one since early teenage hood, I have to curb my rantings about vegetarians! However, despite that, she is a good egg and well worth following!!

I hope you all have a great rest of the week and enjoy the long weekend.